Hello there, fellow agents. As of today, I have decided to share a few unclassified photos of my private life with you, against my better judgement. Hopefully nobody will use it against me to blow my cover. Honestly, OPSEC has never been my strongest skill around the office. (Look, I may or may not have been the person who accidently spilled the beans on that whole Monica Lewinsky debacle back in the day)
When I’m not carrying out top-secret missions to destroy our nation’s enemies in foreign lands, I try my best to keep my systolic blood pressure below 210, like HR suggests. I relax in a few specific ways, in some special places. Here’s a collage for you to follow along for this debrief.
From here on out, I will refer to the encrypted photos, and refer to them as their ultra-secret code names. Hopefully you will be able to decipher the code and see the images I am speaking of. Image 1, it is pretty self explanatory. My first place of peace is relaxing with Mrs. Spy. Since I am an old man at heart, I like taking walks. I always remain vigilant for Charlie in the trees- though. Image 2, I love working on my motorcycle. While at times, it can be extremely aggravating- it is extremely rewarding to complete a job. Plus, with all the sick spy upgrades I’ve done to it, I have the coolest bike in the world. (Except for batman’s…and the Tron guy’s… and Daryl’s from TWD.. you know what? Never mind.) Image 3, I love working out in the gym I build in one of my office’s unused basement boiler rooms. The extreme heat helps simulate the inevitable fight I’ll have inside a villain’s volcano-lair before my career is up as a spy. I’m always ready for it. Image 4, is representative of when I take my K-9 partner for hikes through the woods to keep him strong and sharp.
I hope you all enjoyed this peek into my ultra-secret spy home life. If you’ll excuse me, I have to go do a raid on [Redacted]. I don’t know if that info is classified or not, but if it is, the guys upstairs will probably censor it for me. Agent *67, signing off.